Are you shy and want to confidently start a conversation in English with your Liveme viewers? Or maybe you’re trying to overcome introversion and would like some ideas on how to get some conversation practice. Starting a conversation will help.
I know that starting a conversation with someone or joining a group conversation can be scary – especially when you speak your own language.
You may be wondering: “What should I say?” or “What if I say the wrong thing?”
Talking in a conversation is usually just knowing what is the right thing to say in a given situation. This is rarely taught in the classroom.
With that in mind, this article answers the questions “How to start a conversation on someone else?” and “What’s the best way to start a conversation without awkwardness?”.
You’ll learn questions, phrases, and expressions that you can use to confidently start a conversation with anyone, in any language.
In this article, I will cover two types of situations:
talking one on one
Performance in a group
I have also included certain phrases and expressions depending on the context in which you are speaking.
Context: Location – Meeting someone at a restaurant, coffee shop, airport, or school can affect what you can say.
Context: Event – Are you at a party? Are you coming to the wedding? At the concert? We will share some phrases that will help you based on what is going on around you.
Finally, these phrases will be in English, but use them as ideas for what phrases to look for and translate so you can start a conversation in any language.
Using these phrases will improve your speaking skills, so practice them and you’ll soon be able to speak English!
How to get rid of the fear of starting a conversation in English
Before we get into a stalemate, I will let you into the consciousness you need to start a conversation.
The fear of talking to strangers actually comes from a fear of being “weird” or looking stupid.
Basically, you’re afraid of the other person’s reaction, like a weird look that says, “I don’t want to talk to you,” or even someone laughing at you. (Of course, this very rarely happens in real life!)
To be honest, I still experience moments of fear when I start a conversation in the language I am learning. Sometimes it takes me a few minutes to get into the flow.
Just know that this feeling is completely normal. Try to deal with it as normal and don’t worry too much.
Conversation tip #1: Be friendly!
The first key to feeling relaxed and forgetting about your fear is to have a good time and be friendly.
Smile and enjoy meeting new viewers on Liveme. If you can relax and enjoy getting to know someone, then the other person will feel it, and it will calm him down.
Talking to a person who is super serious and has a serious expression is rarely pleasant, so why force someone to go through with it? Relax and turn your frown upside down!
Talk to people the way you would talk to a friend and they might just become one.
Conversation tip #2: Take the pressure off
A lot of the fear around starting a conversation comes from putting pressure on yourself to have a certain outcome from the conversation.
So stop pinning specific hopes on what will happen! Whatever happens will happen.
Don’t expect anything from yourself or the other person other than to get to know them a little better.
Also, don’t push the topic or be aggressive in what you’re trying to say. This type of energy is like a blackout for someone you just met. Let the conversation flow naturally.
Finally, understand that you don’t have to become best friends with the person you’re talking to. There are millions of native speakers out there, so being friends with this person won’t determine your success. If the conversation doesn’t go well, that’s fine.
Conversation Tip #3: Remember, the world doesn’t revolve around you
Don’t just talk about yourself. Try asking questions about the other person’s life. Interpret things about yourself only when they are really relevant to the topic.
What if they ask a question about themselves? Answer. But then ask them the same question.
Often people secretly ask questions they want to ask themselves, so turn the question around and see what the other person has to say.
The most important thing is not to be intrusive or seem desperate. Pick things up naturally and naturally. People should never feel pressured to talk to you, so help them feel comfortable.
Conversation tip #4: Be honest
When asking questions or talking about something, don’t make it up just because you’ve memorized a certain phrase.
For example, don’t say “I love cats too!” if you really hate cats. Or don’t say “My uncle works in a factory” when you don’t even have an uncle, let alone one who works in a factory.
Make sure you’re telling the truth, even if it means searching for the words you need.
Otherwise, you may find yourself in a very awkward situation.
Conversation tip #5: Avoid closed questions
Questions that can only be answered with “yes” or “no” are called closed questions because they close the conversation.
Loop questions work much better when your goal is to keep the conversation going.
Let’s look at the difference between them with a few examples
Instead of asking the closed question “Do you like apple juice?”, ask the open question “What is your favorite type of juice?”.
Or, instead of asking “Do you like spaghetti?”, you can ask “How often do you eat Italian food?”.
Open-ended questions invite further discussion, while “yes” or “no” questions usually invite only the end of the conversation.
Now that you have the right mindset, let’s get into some tips on what topics to talk about!
Starting a conversation for a one-on-one conversation
There are certain phases in a conversation that it goes through. These include starting a conversation, developing a topic, inviting a longer conversation, changing the topic, and ending the conversation.
When you’re talking one-on-one with someone, it’s helpful to look at each phase and figure out your approach to that phase so you know what to talk about.
Here is a specific structure that you can follow:
Phase 1: Start with a good conversation starter.
The best way to start a conversation with a stranger is to ask a question that is not too personal.
Here are some examples of polite questions to ask to get you started:
“Excuse me, do you have time?” or “Do you know what time it is?”.
“Hi. Is this seat taken?” If the answer is “no”, then you can answer “Do you mind if I sit here?”.
“Excuse me. Do you know what time this place closes?” (assuming you are in a place where “place” can be replaced with “restaurant” or “cafe” or “shop”).
It’s even better to start a conversation by noticing something about the other person and commenting on it in a pleasant manner. Here are some examples:
Note: Anything you see in [brackets] can be replaced with something specific to your conversation.
“It’s a really good [hat].” May I ask where you got it from?”
“I really like your [shoes]. Did you get them nearby?”
“The [phone] looks great. Is it easy to use?”
Phase 2: Work on topics of conversation
Now that you have started talking, you will need to expand on the established topic and continue the conversation.
If they answered your question, you can ask one or two follow-up questions to get more information, such as:
“Shop nearby?”
“Does it have a good value?” (Try not to give specific monetary amounts, such as “How much did it cost?”, as this can be considered rude.)
“Do they have other colors?”
Next, provide context for why you asked them this question. Here are some examples:
“The reason I asked was because I was thinking about replacing the phone.”
“I was looking for a hat like this to give to my friend.”
“Yes, the shoes I have are wearing out. It’s time to buy a new pair.”
And, as always, if someone helps, don’t forget to thank them!
“Thanks for the offer.”
“I appreciate the information.”
“Thank you. That was very helpful.”
Phase 3: Expanding the conversation with more questions to ask people
You can usually tell when a person is losing interest in a conversation. If you get to this point, apologize and move on.
However, if you feel that the person might be receptive to a longer conversation, then why not talk a little more and get to know them better?
Here are some more general questions you can ask to keep the conversation going.
“Are you from this area?”
“So what do you do for a living?”
“What brings you here today?”
“Do you often log into Liveme?”
Each of these questions can be used to expand the conversation and learn more about the other person.
The idea here is to find common ground. When they mention something related to you and your life, it gives you the opportunity to explore the topic more fully.
Stage 4. Further study of the topic – what to talk about next
When your conversation comes to a topic that you are comfortable talking about in your language, then this is your chance to discuss it in more depth.
As an example, let’s say that you discovered that your interlocutor has a cat. You also have a cat. It’s time to show some photos of your cat on your smartphone!
Or, if the person mentions that they are a vegetarian and you happen to be a vegetarian, now you have something in common. Why not ask about their favorite vegetarian recipes?
Here are a few sentences and phrases that may come in handy for a deeper dive into the topic:
“Really? I’m a [vegetarian] too! Why did you decide to [stop eating meat]?”
“I love [cats]! Actually, I [have two]. What type of [cats] do you have?”
“[Football] is my favorite sport! What team do you support?”
“You’re kidding! I [ride a motorcycle] too. What type of [motorcycle] do you have?”
The idea here is to let them know that you have common interests and then ask them to share more details.
Remember to talk about the other person more than yourself.
For example, instead of talking at length about your favorite recipes, ask them for them. This will show that you are genuinely interested in getting to know them and they will be more open to continuing the conversation.
Stage 5: Request for opinions and interesting questions
Everyone has their own opinion about something, and many people like to share it with others. So it’s not difficult to come up with interesting questions.
Just ask them for their thoughts and opinions!
Here are some questions you can ask to get the other person’s opinion on a situation or topic:
“I don’t know. What do you think?”
“Was that your experience too?”
“Has this ever happened to you?”
“Why do you think this (case)?”
“Is this good or bad?”
Once people start sharing their opinions, you open the door to a whole new area of conversation.
Phase 6: Changing the subject with conversational connectors
Sometimes the conversation starts to fade and you find it’s over.
If you feel like your conversation partner is losing interest in talking about your impressive snow globe collection, it might be time to change the subject! To do this, use the speaker connectors.
Here are some ways to switch to other themes:
“This reminds me…”
“Oh, hi. Did you hear that…”
“Speaking of [horses], I found out that…”
Or, if you want to make more drastic changes, you can just say so directly with:
“Okay, now I’m completely changing the subject, but I’m wondering…”
“I don’t want to get off topic, but I recently heard that…”
Stage 7: Invite your interlocutor to a longer conversation
After about 10-15 minutes, it is worth checking if your interlocutor wants to continue the conversation. Get confirmation that they want to be part of the conversation so you can be sure they’re not just being polite.
Here are a few questions you can ask to make sure you can have a longer Liveme conversation.
“I can’t stop you from anything, can I?”
“Sorry for taking up so much of your time. Do you have to leave?”
“I just realized that you must be busy. Do you have time to chat?”
“Let me know if you need to leave. I don’t want to take all your time.”
These expressions show that you are attentive to the needs of your interlocutor.
Phase 8: Closing the Conversation
Part of being a good conversationalist is knowing when to stop talking.
When the conversation is over, find a way for them to contact you in the future. If you feel like they might want to talk again, you can give them a chance with some of these phrases:
“Well, if you ever want to chat again, I’m usually on the air [every Monday afternoon].”
“Let me give you my email address. If you’re ever here again, it would be great to meet.”
“Feel free to call me if you want to hang out. Here, I’ll give you my number.”
And don’t forget to make them appreciate it too!
“I really enjoyed our conversation. Thank you very much.”
“It was very nice to meet you.”
“It was a pleasure talking to you. Hope to see you soon.”
Join and talk in a group conversation…
Not all of your conversations will be one-on-one. Sometimes you will join a group where others are talking.
The most important skill in group beams is the ability to listen. Pay attention to the conversation and only interact when appropriate.
Many of the phrases you have learned so far in this article can work in group broadcasts. You can also add other types of phrases to a group conversation, such as sharing your experiences or thoughts, asking the group questions, or connecting two people.
Here are some phrases you can use:
Starting a conversation to share experiences or ideas
If you have something to add to the conversation, here are some examples of how to do it:
“Actually, it happened to me once. It was really [annoying].”
“I totally agree. The same thing happened to me.”
“It’s pretty common. I’ve heard a lot of people have had the same experience.”
You don’t have to share too much, but let the group know you have more information to add. If they want to know more, they can ask for details.
Ask questions to the group
If you notice that some people in the group aren’t participating as much in the conversation, you can ask questions for the whole group.
Here are a few questions to stimulate more dialogue:
“Has anyone ever…?”
“How many of you think that…?”
“How many of you…?”
“Who of you…?”
Or, you can direct it to an individual. Just try not to highlight them in an uncomfortable way. Here are some examples:
“What do you think [Diana]? Has this ever happened to you?”
“Hi [Carlos]. Are you too…?”
Establishing connections between two people
You can understand that two people in a group have something in common. You can make people feel included and connected by sharing these observations with the group.
Here are some ways to do it:
“Actually, [Navvab], didn’t you go there last year as well?”
“You should ask [Samson] about it. The same thing happened to him.”
“[Makoto] has the same [phone]! Where did you get yours, [Makoto]?”
This can help people feel like they are part of a group. Of course, don’t reveal anyone’s secrets!
Closing a conversation or leaving a group
If you have to go and want to apologize to the group, here are some quick and easy ways to do so:
“Hey, I better go. I have a long day tomorrow.”
“Hey guys. Sorry, but I have to run. It was great chatting with all of you.”
“Damn, it’s getting late. I’d better go.”
“Okay guys. I’ve got to go. Happy.”
The following are phrases that you can use outside of work in Liveme, but in everyday life.
The conversation starts in the context of: On the Location
Often what you say is directly related to where you are.
Whether you’re at a restaurant, the airport, or at work, you should have some handy phrases to start a conversation that’s relevant to your location.
Topics for conversation in a restaurant or cafe
Here are phrases and expressions that you can use to start and maintain a conversation in a restaurant or cafe:
“Do you have any recommendations for good meals?”
“What would you recommend to someone who hasn’t eaten here before?”
“What’s the best drink here?”
“Do you know if there are tasty dishes?”
“Have you ever eaten [asparagus]?”
“If you had to eat just one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?”
“What’s your favorite dessert?”
“What’s your favorite spicy dish?” (They don’t like spicy?) Great! Ask them why and keep talking.)
Finally, here are some phrases to use at the end of a conversation:
“Enjoy pasta!”
“Enjoy your meal!”
The conversation starts when you’re in someone’s house…
If you’re visiting someone’s home, you’re in luck! There is an endless supply of possible things to talk about. Just look around the house and you will see many things to bring up and discuss.
“How long have you been living here?”
“Do you like this area?”
“Where did you get this [bookshelf] from?” (or TV, chair, porcelain fountain, etc.)
“What do you like most about this house?”
“How many people live here?”
“Is this house close to [your job]?” (or school, or park, or airport, etc.)
“How far is [supermarket]?”
And here are a few sayings about home that you can say when leaving someone’s home:
“Thank you for inviting me!”
“Thank you for inviting me to your home.”
“I had a great time.”
Things to talk about when exploring the streets…
Sometimes you bump into someone when you’re not around. They can sit on a park bench or stand in line at the bus stop.
Here are some questions and sayings you can use to start and keep the conversation going:
“Do you know where [the bakery] is here?”
“What is this street?”
“Do you know what time [bus 37] comes in?”
“Where can I buy [a bottle of water]?”
“What do you like most about [this park]?”
“How crowded are the buses when they get to this stop?”
“Can you recommend a good restaurant nearby?” This may be followed by “What’s your favorite dish there?”
Questions for people at the airport
I know from personal experience that airports are often a place where you have to “hurry up to wait”.
You rush through customs or security only to sit at the gate and wait for the plane for several hours (or longer if it’s delayed).
This is a great opportunity to chat with someone in English. Here are a few phrases that can get you started:
“Have they announced the landing time for this flight?”
“Is there a place nearby where I can charge my phone?”
“So where are you going today?”
“Do you know what time we arrive at our destination?”
“Is this your favorite airline?” “Why is this?”
“Are you flying home or flying out of home?”
“Where is your favorite place that you have ever visited?”
“Have you ever had the opportunity to fly first or business class?” Then “what was it like?”
“Can you recommend good restaurants or attractions in [Buenos Aires]?”
Because you are flying somewhere, most likely you will never see your interlocutor again. This means that you don’t have to worry about making a fool of yourself because your connection with them will be short and temporary.
Also, there’s a good chance that someone you’re talking to might have some great suggestions for places to see or things to do in your destination city.
Topics of conversation at work
If you work among Aboriginal people, then this is a great chance to strike up a conversation. After all, you already have something in common!
Here are some phrases you can use to start a conversation with a work colleague:
“How did you come here to work?”
“What’s your favorite place to have lunch near the office?”
“What do you like most about your job?”
“What is your possible career plan?”
“What do you consider the most important thing for success in this company?”
What to talk about at school
You can become a student and start studying abroad. Why not get to know other students better? Here are some questions you can ask:
“How long have you been studying here?”
“What do you study?”
“What do you recommend eating on campus?”
“Do you know a good, quiet place to study?”
“What do you plan to do when you graduate?”
As you can see, you can really make friends anywhere and you should never be at a loss to start a conversation.
The Conversation Begins: Events
You have been invited to a special event and want to be able to start a conversation with the people present. The great thing about events is that you automatically have a point of contact with a common interest.
Just explore this common thread further to weave a full tapestry of interesting conversations.
Topics to talk about at a birthday party
A birthday is a fun place to get to know someone and it’s very easy to start a conversation with a complete stranger. Here are a few phrases to help you get started:
“How do you know [the birthday boy]?”
“What do you think of [birthday cake]?”
“What’s the best birthday party you’ve ever been to?”
“If you could relive any year of your life, what would it be?”
“When’s your birthday?”
Little conversation when you’re at a wedding
The merger of two people in marriage is a joyful event, and while you’re there throwing confetti and dancing Conga, be sure to sit down and chat with someone new!
Try these phrases to help break the ice:
“Are you a friend of the bride or groom?”
“What’s the best wedding you’ve been to?”
“If you were planning the perfect wedding for your best friend, what would it be?”
“Do you like dressing up in formal attire?”
“Do you know where they’re going on their honeymoon?”
The conversation begins at a sporting event…
A match or game can be a great opportunity to make quick friends. Associating with those who share a passion for the sport seems to automatically create a bond between people.
Here are some questions you can ask at the next big game:
“Who do you think will win?”
“Have you followed all the matches this season?”
“Who is your favorite player?”
“Do you play this sport yourself?”
“What do you think the score will be?”
Questions to people at a concert or performance
Music lovers love to see their favorite performers on stage. Whether you have tickets to an event or you’re just sitting in a cafe and watching someone play the guitar, be sure to strike up a conversation with other music lovers near you.
“What’s your favorite song from them?”
“Do you play music yourself?” or “Do you play an instrument?” or “Will you eat?”.
“How often do you go to shows?”
“What do you like about this performer?”
Random conversations
If you’re looking for interesting questions to ask outside of the norm, this is a good start. After all, sometimes a random question helps spark interest in a conversation.
“What is your favorite thing in the whole world?”
“If you could spend your time on anything, what would you do?”
“What is your dream [work, vacation, etc.]?”
“What is your favorite number and why?”
“Do you have pets?”
“Are you a dog or a cat?”
“If you were the star of a TV show, what would your theme song be?”
“Who is your favorite actor or actress?”
“Where is the most beautiful place you have ever been?”
“What is your favorite place in the world?”
“Where is your favorite place to relax?”
“Are you a morning or night owl?”
“What is your favorite season and why?”
“What worries you the most?”
“What was your favorite TV show as a kid?”
Starting a conversation to send text messages
It can be difficult to start a conversation over text, as it is not a personal communication and it is difficult to read the other person’s feelings.
But these conversation starters will help start the ball:
“Do you have plans for this weekend?”
“Working on something exciting right now?”
“Are you watching [some show]?”
“What are you up to today?”
“How was your day?”
“How was your [meeting/work presentation/project/whatever they mentioned last]?”
Start a conversation in Zoom or Conference mode
Zoom has quickly become a huge part of everyone’s life, with so many people now working from home or talking from a distance.
If this is you, then here are some ideas on how to break the ice:
“How is everyone feeling right now? Are you okay?”
“What was everyone watching on Netflix?”
“What new books are you reading?”
“Who wants to do a virtual [hangout/game night/movie night]?”
“Has anyone tried any new recipes lately?”
“How is everyone taking care of themselves now?”
“Have you found any new podcasts lately that you love?”
The scale can be a bit awkward, but depending on the situation, most of the other common phrases on this list will work too! Just ask about life at home or at work – and everything will surely go further.
Be friendly, considerate and open your mouth!
That’s all. 150+ different ways to start a conversation and keep it going.
Of course, it can be intimidating when you think about talking to a complete stranger. Especially if they speak a different language than you.
But overcoming your fears is the first step not only in learning a language, but also in the ability to meet fascinating people and make long-term friendships.
Just remember these main points:
Be friendly! – Even if the other person does not have time to talk, at least he will appreciate your pleasant behavior.
Relieve Stress – When you come in with expectations, you can easily get frustrated. Just have fun and let whatever happens, happen!
Talk about them – They don’t want to hear your life story (at least not yet). Ask them questions that show that you want to know them better and they will probably respond in kind.
Be honest – You don’t have to come up with an impressive story to get someone’s attention. Just be yourself and tell the truth.
Asking open-ended questions in Liveme – “yes” or “no” can be a conversational dead end. Ask questions that will spur further discussion.
We have covered many potential situations and questions or phrases that you can use in each of them.
But whether you’re using these approaches or just throwing random phrases around, the goal is to speak up at every opportunity.
You’ll notice that I didn’t say the goal was to talk for 15 minutes. And I didn’t say that the goal is to raise a specific topic. The only goal is to open the mouth and start speaking in the target language.
Starting a conversation is the biggest hurdle. This is the single action that will have the greatest impact on your success in learning a language (and making friends). Be open to what happens from now on and you’ll multiply your chances of improving your skills.